Seriously?

Last night I came upon "Dodgeball" on TV. This movie makes me so happy as its just so...well...stupid, but in a good way.

I appreciate how the actors FLING themselves into their roles and are obviously having a great time with their performances. Jason Bateman kills me in this movie, William Shatner rocks my socks and David Hasslehoff in his cameo as the German Dodgeball Coach is magic.

I think the best thing about it is that NONE of the actors in the movie are taking themselves seriously. Bill and Dave know that they are taking the shit out of themselves with their performances, and they are embracing it. Yes, they may not be the next Robert DeNiro (who REALLY needs to find a good movie to be in-I have high hopes for Stardust, but Bobby D has NOT been choosing well at all!), but they certainly have a good time and understand that they are entertainers, not brain surgeons.

I had an audition this weekend for Zastrozzi, which is one of my favourite plays. I trudged through the rain, sleet and generally NASTY Vancouver weather to reach the audition. It was in a fabulous little studio space in Gastown-I never knew it was there, but how GREAT it was!

I was greeted by a myriad of "actors". Oh how I HATE "actors". Men in cropped Lululemon pants and skin tight shirts hyperventilating and expressing how they are having problems "dropping in their breath". Women looking self important and screeching "mee mee mee" at the top of their lungs. Most of them looking like they were about to participate in the MOST important thing EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!!!! Because they are ACTORS! Serious bastards...

And the accents...whoa the accents.

Zastrozzi is subtitled "the master discipline" and it takes place in Europe. Apparently this subtitle gives people free reign to expound in bad accents in order to get into character. Specifically, Russian accents. Apparently being a master of discipline means you are Russian. Even though Zastrozzi is German.

Dear god in heaven.

I'll admit...I need to warm up more before auditions/performances etc. I am not as young as I used to be, and my body IS my tool, so I should respect it more. But I also do this because I enjoy it-its fun, I'm good at it, and I love being the centre of attention. Yes, some actors don't like that last part, but for the most part, we are all attention grabbing sluts who get off on being on centre stage (or in a close up shot or whatever). The amount of actors who think that they are "the shit" however astounds me. The belief that they are acting as a service to the planet, because they are better than the rest of the plebs in the world is prevalent and alarming to me.

A memo to all actors out there!

We are being paid to play make believe. ITS FUN! ENJOY IT! REVEL IN IT! You are an actor-the best job in the world. HOWEVER when you act like a poncy actor, you look like an idiot and guaranteed there is someone in the room-a fellow actor perhaps- perhaps a blonde one snorting behind her hand-that wants to beat you to death with Uta Hagen.

That is all.