Friday, September 28, 2007

Robosaurus

Tim: What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Dr. Alan Grant: I don't know.
Tim: A Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Dr. Alan Grant: Ha ha. Good one.
Tim: What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?
Dr. Alan Grant: You got me.
Tim: A Do-you-think-he-saurus Rex
There are times when I get up in the morning and I think to myself that really, things couldn't get any stupider.

I mean, lets be real. There is some stupid shit going on out there, and there has been for awhile. Dane Cook for one (I know, I keep going on about Dane Cook but I JUST DON'T GET IT! The man is simply not funny or even marginally talented. His mere existence could be proof that there is a Supreme Evil Being and that Dane is one of his unfunny minions that is trying to create hell on earth. I'm just saying...). Britney Spears and our INCESSANT fascination with her crash into oblivion (also note-Rihanna has come out in the press defending her. Maybe she should protect poor Brit with her umbrella). Crocs. The cancellation of Arrested Development. Operation Return on Success.

However, its has been a long time since I have been truly STUNNED by anything. Nothing really surprises me anymore.

Until now...

Stanley Park, where robot dinos roam?

Okay...that has to be a lie. It's in the Province newspaper-Vancouver's answer to the National Enquirer. It has to be wrong. Maybe I'll look elsewhere...

Stanley Park considers 'Jurassic Park'-like exhibit

All right, CTV is saying the same thing. But maybe they are just jumping on the sensationalist bandwagon. I mean who would believe that they would consider putting robot dinosaurs in Stanley Park...how about the Globe and Mail?

'Dinosaur experience' could give Vancouver its own Jurassic Park

Dear lord.

Someone has let the lunatics out of the asylum and they are RUNNING AMOK IN STANLEY PARK!

The Vancouver Parks Board is requesting proposals from "experienced proponents" (HUH?)to install 25 to 30 life-sized animatronic dinosaurs and related educational exhibits near the miniature 1.5-kilometre railway. So in other words, they want robot dinosaurs to freak the SHIT out of the kids on the miniature railway.

Robot dinosaurs.

In Stanley Park.

ROBOT DINOSAURS IN STANLEY PARK!!!!!

I am at a total loss. I am simply stunned into...well...not speechlessness, but certainly mild incoherence.

ROBOT FREAKING DINOSAURS!!!!!!

Am I alone in this? Am I the only person who thinks that this is an amazingly bad idea? We have the WORLD coming here for the 2010 Olympics-that's already enough pressure. Do we REALLY want them to come here and say...

"Wow...cool Olympics. Vancouver really IS a World Class...wait...is that a Robot Dinosaur?"

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